In this week’s issue:

• Touch Grass: DCA This Bitch Like You actually Have a Plan (ps I don’t)

• Hodl Me Tender: 🔥 Web3, Crypto + AI Jobs of the Week

Hodl Me Tender: 🔥 Web3 + AI Jobs of the Week

Looking for your next move in (or into) web3, crypto, or AI? Here are some fire openings for this week, all remote, all posted within the last three days:

• Runware is looking for an AI Community Manager

• Zora needs a Senior Data/ML Engineer, Product 

• Offchain Labs is looking for someone onboard as an Integration Engineer

• World needs a new Head of Comms, Europe to join their team

• Newton wants to find a Web3 Marketing Lead, Canada

• Coinbase needs a Senior Content Strategist—is it you?

• Rarible needs a KOL Manager

• Metaplex Foundation is looking for a Product Marketing Lead

• Want to be a Marketing Analyst at Anchorage? Get it.

• Kraken is on the lookout for a Head of Product Marketing & Growth 

Want to see your company's job listed here? Reply to this email and lmk.

DCA 101: someone please make this into a TikTok dance

Dollar cost averaging is just buying the same dollar amount of an asset at regular intervals—weekly, monthly, whatever keeps you from making 3am financial decisions. The theory is that you'll buy more when prices are low and less when they're high, averaging out your cost basis over time.

It's the tortoise strategy in a world full of investment hares, and apparently the tortoise sometimes wins. Neat.

Here's my very simple breakdown of how it works in practice:

• Set aside $100/month for crypto (or whatever amount works for you)

• Buy $100 worth of ETH every month regardless of whether it's at $3,000 or $1,500

• Continue this for months/years while ignoring the daily price chaos

• Theoretically end up with a better average price than if you'd tried to time the market

Apparently the beauty of DCA isn't that it maximizes gains—it's that it minimizes the chance of spectacularly fucking up by buying the literal top of a bubble. Which is exactly the kind of protection I want.

The psychology of not being an idiot (harder than it sounds)

The biggest enemy of successful investing isn't market volatility—it's us. Our monkey brains are wired to buy high (fomo kicks in when everyone's talking about gains) and sell low (panic when everything's red and scary).

DCA counters this by removing emotion from the equation, so you're no longer making decisions based on fear or greed. Instead you're just following your predetermined plan like a well-programmed robot. Which tbh is what I need until I can learn more.

There's also this thing called anchoring bias—which is a “cognitive bias that causes us to rely heavily on the first piece of information we are given about a topic.” Anchoring biases can flow (as the buyer or the hodler) in either direction and so in this case, it basically translates to you refusing to sell something because you're still emotionally attached to what you paid for it. Like that NFT you bought for 2 ETH that's now worth 0.2 ETH, but in your heart it's still "worth" 2 ETH because that's what you paid.

Speaking of subjective value being a complete mindfuck—I may or may not intermittently scroll Facebook Marketplace to observe and/or judge other people’s subjective valuations.

Someone will post a used candle for $30 because "it retails for $65 and I only burned it twice." Ma'am, that is a used candle. But we all do this—we create these elaborate stories about what things are "worth" based on what we paid, what we hoped they'd be worth, or what we need them to be worth to not feel dumb.

DCA helps break this psychological trap because instead of anchoring to one purchase price, you're spread across multiple prices. You can't get emotionally attached to "breaking even" on a single entry point when you have twelve different entry points.

Also research shows that people who try to time the market typically underperform those who just buy and hodl consistently. It's like trying to catch a falling knife, except the knife is also on fire and the fire is made of internet money.

My real-time DCA setup (learning as we go, as per usual)

Ok so I decided to actually implement this instead of just writing about it theoretically. Here's my extremely scientific process:

Step 1: Choose the Poison I'm starting with ETH and BTC because these are the least likely to completely disappear overnight.

Step 2: Pick the Platform I'm using Coinbase because it's the training wheels of crypto exchanges and they have an automatic recurring buy feature. Which is perfect because I definitely can't trust myself to remember to do this manually every week.

Step 3: Set the Budget I decided on $100/month total split between BTC and ETH (though I’m investing weekly—you do the math). This is an amount that won't ruin me if crypto goes to zero, but also isn't so small that I'm just cosplaying as an investor. fyi I’m not investing more than I’d be reluctantly willing to lose.

Step 4: Choose the Frequency Weekly vs monthly vs daily? I went with weekly because monthly feels too infrequent (what if I miss THE perfect buying opportunity?) and daily feels like I'm still thinking about this too much. For me, weekly seems like the goldilocks zone of "not overthinking it."

Step 5: Set It and Forget It This is the hardest part for someone who checks prices more often than their Farcaster feed. The whole point is to NOT constantly monitor and adjust. Kinda like meditation for people who are bad at meditation.

The math that makes me feel better about my choices

Here’s a completely made-up but illustrative example of why DCA theoretically works:

Scenario A: The Timing God

• January: Buy $1,000 of ETH at $1,000 = 1 ETH

• February: Buy $1,000 of ETH at $2,000 = 0.5 ETH

• March: Buy $1,000 of ETH at $1,500 = 0.67 ETH

• Total: $3,000 spent, 2.17 ETH owned, average cost: $1,383

Scenario B: The Lump Sum Gambler

• January: Buy $3,000 of ETH at $2,000 = 1.5 ETH

• February-March: Watch prices and stress-eat

• Total: $3,000 spent, 1.5 ETH owned, average cost: $2,000

And this is why I'm not trying to be a timing god—the house always wins, and I am not the house.

DCA red flags (because of course there are caveats)

The "Set It and Forget It... Forever" Trap DCA isn't a substitute for paying attention entirely. You should still periodically review whether your chosen assets make sense or if your budget needs adjusting. It's automation, not abandonment.

The "DCA Into Garbage" Problem DCA works best with assets that have long-term staying power. If you're DCA'ing into the latest memecoin or some random altcoin that rhymes with "moon," you're just systematically buying garbage at regular intervals.

The "Bear Market Blues" DCA in a bear market means watching your portfolio value drop month after month while you keep buying. This tests your commitment to the strategy and your general sanity. It's kinda like voluntarily walking into a storm because you believe the weather will eventually improve.

My extremely sophisticated strategy going forward

I'm committing to DCA for at least 6 months without making any emotional adjustments. No maybe I should pause because the market looks scary or let me double this month's buy because prices are so low (ok but maybe). Because fr the whole point is to remove bias, influence, and subpar market timing instincts from the equation.

The goal isn't to maximize gains—it's to build a position without the stress of trying to perfectly time entries. Back to the tortoise, I suppose it's the investment equivalent of slow and steady wins the race. Which, coming from someone who has a very long history of jumping off the cliff and figuring shit out on the way down, is kinda novel.

PS: Subscribe now if you want in on this arithmetic. Miss the last issue? It’s right here. Also literally none of this is financial advice. I’m sharing what I learn through Babe, and perhaps you’ll learn from my mistakes. Hopefully, maybe, who knows, ily.